Life Before John Paul
by Inky74
Summary: Kieron is 15 years old and is a good little Catholic boy. But then he meets Thomas and everything changes.
1. Part one

**Author Notes:** _It was so sad when Kieron died so here is this fic;_ _Posted on this site in loving memory of Father Kieron Hobbs._

_I started writing this fic a while ago, it is basically a look at Kieron's life before he came to Hollyoaks._

_Kieron is age 15._

_I hope you like it._

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**Life Before John Paul**

**Part One **

The boy was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, Kieron couldn't help staring at him. The boy caught his eye and grinned; Kieron automatically grinned back, but then immediately felt annoyed with himself. He had been battling feelings like this since he was thirteen and he had thought he was winning.

His parents were very old fashioned and strong Catholics, therefore from the minute Kieron had found out what a homosexual was it had been drummed into him that this was a sin, therefore it was absolutely unthinkable that he would become one.

With immense difficulty Kieron pushed thoughts about the good looking boy out of his mind and tried to concentrate on what he was doing. He had volunteered to help out with a church bring-and-buy sale and he was supposed to be trying to encourage passerbys to buy the rubbish that was on the stall he had been put in charge of. Unfortunately he could not bring himself to persuade people to buy old McDonald's happy meal toys, even if it was for the poor.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kieron noticed the blonde boy he had been staring at leave. He felt a rush of disappointment, at the back of his mind he had been sure the boy would come and speak to him, or maybe he had just been hoping the boy would come and speak to him.

Over the next week hardly a minute went past where Kieron wasn't thinking about the great looking blonde boy. It frustrated him that however much he tried he just couldn't seem to get that particular person out of his mind. What was wrong with him? How could he be so infatuated with a person he hadn't even spoken to?

Even though Kieron had hoped he would see the boy again the realistic part of his mind assumed he never would. Therefore he could hardly contain his surprise when he spied him over the top of his hymn book at church the following Sunday. What shocked him even further was the fact that the boy was staring right back at him and when he realized he had got Kieron's attention he gave a cheeky grin and a wink. Kieron blushed deep scarlet without being entirely sure why he was so embarrassed.

Once Father William's sermon had ended and everyone began to file out of church, Kieron silently panicked, wondering what he should do. Would the boy expect him to go over and talk to him, or should he wait to be approached? Or would the boy just walk out of church without giving him a second glance, leaving him feeling more confused than ever?

Unsure of what to do Kieron got up to follow his mother out, when she was called back by Father William.

"Mrs. Hobbs, have you met my nephew?" He gestured to the blonde boy standing next to him, who, to Kieron's horror and delight, was the boy who he had been thinking about for the past week.

"All of you meet Thomas my brother's eldest son," Father William said beckoning to the whole of Kieron's family.

"Thomas this is Mr. and Mrs. Hobbs and their three sons, Luke, Kieron and Nathan." Thomas said a polite hello before the priest continued, "Thomas is staying with me for a while because his mother is in hospital and unfortunately he doesn't exactly see eye to eye with my dear brother, so he decided he would prefer to come and stay with me for a while. We are all praying Alicia gets well soon, but I'm afraid Thomas may be around for a while so I was hoping your boys could show him around because they are of a similar age and I'm sure he doesn't want to be stuck with me all the time."

Part of Kieron jumped with joy at the Priest's words because part of him wanted to spend as much time with Thomas as possible. However the other part of him was annoyed, why couldn't Thomas go away, disappear, so that Kieron could forget him and forget about all the confusing feelings he had for him. Before Kieron could work out which part of himself he agreed with most his mother had arranged for Thomas to come round their house that afternoon.

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**Author Notes: **_Please Review and tell me what you think._


	2. Part Two

**Author Notes: **_Thank you for the reviews I really apreciate them! I hope you enjoy this chapter._

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**Part Two**

Although Thomas had been coming round their house fairly frequently, Kieron hadn't found a chance to be completely alone with him. He had talked to him several times, but always in a polite, inquiring manner, asking about his family, his school and other standard things you might ask a person when you know little about them. From the cheeky grins he was getting when no one else was looking, Kieron had a sneaky suspicion that they would be having much more interesting conversations if they were alone.

Seeing Thomas so often Kieron could hardly contain his emotions, he desperately wanted to express how he felt instead of keeping it bottled up inside himself. Whenever Thomas was near Kieron couldn't concentrate on anything, he was too busy focusing his attentions on the way Thomas pushed his slightly too long hair out of his eyes, or the slight quirk on Thomas's lips whenever he started to talk, or the way a subtle pink tinge arrived on Thomas's cheeks whenever he caught Kieron looking at him.

It was many weeks later before Kieron found himself completely alone with Thomas. Thomas called round one Wednesday evening while everyone but Kieron was out.

"Oh, err, hi," Kieron said wishing he could think of something cool and interesting to say, "I, err, didn't know you were coming round."

"I was bored," Thomas stated simply, "I wanted to see you." Kieron's heart gave a pleasant flip, he wanted to see _him_. However it was at that moment that Kieron realized three things, he was still wearing his shirt and tie from school earlier that day, his bedroom was a complete mess and he was blocking the doorway preventing Thomas from entering the house. Kieron jumped back to allow him to pass, hoping he didn't look too stupid in his school uniform. Thomas slipped into the house deliberately pressing himself up against Kieron as he went.

Although it was Kieron's house it was Thomas who lounged on the large sofa looking completely at home and Kieron who hovered in the doorway, embarrassed and not quite sure what to do with himself.

"Sit down." Kieron blushed, resenting the fact that he was being told what to do in his own home, but followed the order anyway. The fact was that Kieron had been imagining this moment, being completely alone with Thomas, for weeks, but now, without his mother to act like a buffer between them, he felt awkward and unsure of himself.

Thomas watched Kieron for a couple of minutes, a curious half-smile on his face. Then his features split into the cheeky grin Kieron knew so well.

"What's the matter with you, you look a bit tense?" Again Kieron blushed, as he tried and failed to look more relaxed. Thomas grinned and shifted towards him, so close that Kieron could feel the heat radiating off his body. Thomas's lips moved closer to Kieron's face, his hot breath against his cheek.

"What's the matter?" He whispered, "Everyone's out aren't they? What are you so worried about?" And before Kieron could answer he was kissing him.

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********Author Notes:** _Please please please review!! Even if you don't like it. I really want to know what you think. _


	3. Part Three

**Author Notes: **_Thank you for the reviews you have no idea how much they mean to me! I'm glad that you like it so far. I hope you enjoy this chapter too, please tell me what you think once you have read it. _

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**Life Before John Paul**

**Part Three**

Kieron pulled away breathing heavily looking into Thomas's bright blue eyes. He wanted more than anything to kiss him again, to run his fingers through his silky blonde hair, to feel his body pressed up against his. But he knew he couldn't. He couldn't lose himself, he had to keep his head, he had to remember he was a good Catholic boy and good Catholic boys did not go around kissing other boys, however much they wanted to.

"We can't do this," Kieron's voice sounded hoarse and odd as though it was not his own. Thomas smiled and stroked Kieron's face almost absent mindedly.

"What do you mean we can't do this? _I_ can do this; I want to do this, don't you?"

"I don't know, it's complicated, I mean I can't just throw away my whole religion for you."

"I'm not asking you to throw your religion away for me, you don't need to. I'm just as much of a Catholic as you are, just because I have been with boys, that doesn't mean I am not a Catholic."

"But," Kieron began, but Thomas interrupted him;

"Look Kieron, just because I don't believe in every single thing the Bible says it doesn't mean I'm not a Catholic. I believe in God, I pray to him and I like to think he listens. I don't believe we will go to hell if we don't live completely by every one of the Catholic rules, some of them don't make that much sense anyway. My mother won't file for a divorce because she believes God with be angry with her if she did. I told her God is probably more concerned that my dad beats the crap out of her every night. She didn't listen; she stuck to her beliefs, where has that got her? She is now lying in a hospital bed thanks to Dad and the fact she won't escape the hell of a marriage she is in." Thomas fell silent and Kieron stared at him in stunned silence. Thomas had never talked about the reason why he hated his dad before, or why his mother was in hospital. Thomas turned away from him, making it clear he felt as though he had said too much.

"I….I'm sorry about you dad," Kieron said slowly, but Thomas looked down and shook his head.

"That's not the point though is it," he said, eager to get the conversation away from his parents again, "I'm just saying that if you are a perfect Catholic it doesn't mean you will have a perfect life. Sometimes you should look at what is best for you, not what is best for your religion."

Kieron was about to reply when he heard the scraping of the key in the lock of his front door.

"Just think about it," Thomas whispered, giving Kieron a brief kiss before departing. Kieron watched his leave the room, then sat in silence, trying to make sense of the jumble of thoughts going round in his mind.

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**Author Notes:** _I hope you don't think this chapter is too bad, it is the one I am most unsure about because it brings up the issues of religion and violent husbands and I'm not sure I do it very well._

_If you have any ideas how to make the chapter any better I would love to hear them. Contructive criticism is very much apriciated._

_Remember to REVIEW! Thank you :)_


	4. Part Four

**Author Notes:** Sorry about the shortness of this part. I will try and post the next part at least by Friday to make up for it.

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**Part Four **

That night Kieron lay in bed, his mind swimming with thoughts.

He thought about Thomas's parents, he could not imagine what life was like for Thomas, to know that his mother is in hospital because of what his dad did. To someone like Kieron who had never had to experience the dark side of the family, who lived a protected, sheltered life, it was unthinkable. He wanted more than anything to offer words of comfort to Thomas, but he had a feeling that Thomas wouldn't want to talk about it again and hadn't even meant to mention it in the first place.

Kieron turned his thoughts to what Thomas had said earlier that day, _"I'm just as much of a Catholic as you are." _Was this true? Kieron couldn't see how it could be. Surely a true Catholic would resist temptation, wouldn't they? But then again, he had kissed Thomas back; he hadn't pulled away, so maybe Thomas was right he was just as much of a Catholic as he was because they were just as bad as each other.

"_Sometimes you should look at what is best for you, not what is best for your religion"-_ what did Thomas mean by this? Did he mean that Kieron should do what would make him happy (being with Thomas) or was he still talking about his parents when he said this?

While all these thoughts went round his head, one thing kept returning, but it wasn't a thought it was a feeling. The feeling he had when they were kissing, the feeling that was so great and so magical that Kieron couldn't imagine condemning himself to never feel like that again. Therefore in the end it didn't matter how much he thought about it, because it was this feeling, not his thoughts, that helped him decide what he was going to do next.

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**Author Notes:** Although this chapter is short I would still like to know what you think and what you think about the story in general so please review.

Thankyou! I love everyone who reviews so much! :)


	5. Parts Five and Six

**Author Notes:** _Sorry, I know I said I would update on Friday, but my computer decided to be annoying when I tried! _

_Here are parts five and six. Part five is very short but I still wanted to include it. _

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**Part Five**

Apart from seeing the back of his head briefly in church, Kieron hadn't seen Thomas in over a week since the kiss.

The night after their kiss he had promised himself he would confess his feelings to Thomas, but as more time past, he became less and less willing to do so. His mind was filled with doubt and worry as he struggled to convince himself that it would be the right thing to do.

He had no idea whether Thomas felt the same way and he had no idea if what he felt was in fact love. Wouldn't this whole thing be pointless if it wasn't?

**Part Six**

Kieron often took a short cut through the park on his way to school; he was one of the very few who did. The other children had been warned against it by their parents. It was deserted so early in the morning and was surrounded by thick tree coverage so no one outside of the park could see into it; it also had a strange eerie quality that no one could explain. Therefore it was thought that it was too dangerous for children to be wandering through, even if it did cut fifteen minutes off their journey to school.

No one knew that Kieron walked through the park, his older brother Luke never asked questions and never seemed to be around much anyway, his thirteen-year-old brother Nathan seemed to just be thankful that Kieron didn't walk to school with him and his friends, so he didn't care where he was, therefore Kieron had the shock of his life, when someone placed their hand inside his.

"Oh my God, don't do that in a place that is rumored to be full of axe-murderers!" Kieron yelled, once he had recovered. Thomas just laughed.

"Why would an axe-murderer try and hold hands with you?"

"I don't know, I don't know how an axe-murderer's mind works." Thomas raised his eyebrows and didn't reply; he just slipped his hand back into Kieron's and carried on walking beside him.

"So, how did you know I was here?" Kieron asked after a minute or so.

"You don't walk to school past my uncle's house and this is the only other way."

"Oh."

"I've missed you, that's why I came here. I haven't seen you in ages, have you been avoiding me?"

"No, I thought you might have been avoiding me." At Kieron's words Thomas rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, funny how that happens. So, have you thought about what I said?" Kieron paused for a moment before answering Thomas's question.

"Yes, and I'm not sure you're right, I'm not sure if any of this is right, I just wish I didn't feel this way and I think, I think that I love you and I really want to kiss you again." The words seemed to tumble out of his mouth before he could stop them. Thomas didn't say anything, he didn't even grin, he just stepped forwards and kissed Kieron lightly on the lips. He only spoke once they had broken apart.

"You think too much," he said, his face still so close to Kieron's that he could smell the morning's toothpaste on his breath, "you should stop it, don't think, just do."

So Kieron did.

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**Author Notes:** _So did you like it? I would love to know what you like and dislike about my fic. _

_I am looking forward to reading your reviews. _


	6. Part Seven

_**Author Notes:** I am very sorry that I took so long to update, I have been very busy lately with coursework and school. _

_I hope you like this chapter._

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**Part Seven**

In years to come Kieron will look back on his life and he will always remember the next month as the happiest month of his life. He spent a lot less time thinking about being with Thomas and a lot more time actually being with him. They were always together; at least that is what it felt like to Kieron who regarded all time that they were apart as meaningless.

Kieron enjoyed being close and intimate with Thomas, but he also enjoyed just being with him. They didn't need to have physical contact to have a great time together. One of the best things about Thomas was that, not only was he absolutely gorgeous, he was also great fun to be with.

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Kieron smiled as he felt Thomas's body heat next to him. They were lying side by side on Kieron's bed, barely touching. To look at them they could have been nothing more than friends. Even in the silence Thomas's presence was comforting, creating a peaceful atmosphere which enabled Kieron to relax; something he hadn't been able to do much of recently as his GCSE exams were nearing.

"You know, we have been together, properly together, for over a month now." Thomas said suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Really? That's strange; I would never have thought it had been a month already, the time goes so quickly with you, but at the same time I feel as thought I have been with you forever." Kieron said squeezing Thomas's hand.

"Kieron, when I came here I never thought that I would be staying to long and I never would have imagined that I'd meet someone who I would come to love as much as I love you." Kieron grinned, Thomas had never been so honest about his feelings before and although he was talking in such a serious matter-of-fact way, it still felt great to hear him say those words. "But, however much I love you, I have to go back home in a few days. My mum is now fit enough to return home, but that doesn't mean that she is well enough to take on my dad. I can't leave her alone with him, especially not in the state she is in. The only reason I came here in the first place was because I knew she was safe, but now I have to go back and look after her again."

"So you're leaving?" Kieron gasped, tears welling up in his eyes. He had never given any thought to the fact that Thomas wasn't going to stay with his uncle forever; he didn't even think that this day would ever come.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I'm going to miss you so much, but I have to go." As the tears rolled the faces of the two boys, they embraced lovingly as though they never wanted to be parted.

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_Author Notes: Please, please, please review! I really love to know what you think of the story. _


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